Diary of a Truck Driver

Getting started in truck driving, based on my experiences at least, isn’t for the faint hearted.

There would be more ways to get started in this industry than there are ways to skin a Cat, or Detroit, or Cummins, before I get shouted down for appearing bias.

Personally, I have a long background in working with machinery having worked in the agricultural fields for many years. I have also done a lot of miles in rigid trucks carting horses all over the country. Knowing that I enjoy travelling and driving certainly added to my confidence about getting into the interstate trucking business.

Getting the licence is the easy bit, pay the money and do a couple of days driving around with an instructor and you’re away.

Find someone who will hire you, bend over backwards, work for the experience if you have to and don’t be disappointed if you end up in rough gear with a rough boss; it’s a start. Don’t be afraid to pound the pavement and knock on doors, a lot of operators don’t advertise for drivers so don’t wait for the Saturday paper. Also, go back, again and again often you’ll get told no thanks a few times and you’ll still get in down the track.

Always remember that you don’t get the good gear by neglecting the older stuff.

Once you’re in the seat, that’s when you start to learn. Some of the difficult lessons I’ve learned include:

• Wheel nuts can travel very fast straight at you when you undo a spider rim;
• Roads that look good on maps aren’t always good;
• If you don’t re-tighten wheel nuts after getting a new tyre fitted you wreck the rims, the hubs the lot;
• Chain dogs can hurt;
• Kangaroos don’t bounce;
• I don’t bounce;
• Loads do shift;
• Lights don’t always;
• Sometimes you need to stand your ground, especially with public servants; and
• A quick visit to the Roads and Traffic Authority never is.

So now you’re probably wondering if this is the right job for you. Read the following phrases to help you decide:

• I love to sleep.
• I get bored easily.
• I’m obsessive compulsive and inflexible in my attitudes.
• I enjoy eating good food at regular times.
• I like television.
• I must have a coffee in the morning to be any use.
• I like to argue.
• I refuse to wait for anything.
• I’m fastidious about arriving on time.
• I will not use a dirty toilet.
• I can’t wait for a toilet.
• I dislike traffic.
• I must have two showers every day.
• I get stressed easily.

If these phrases have ever been part of you vocabulary then you should think long and hard about your future in the transport industry.

If however you are happy to be away from home all week and don’t mind a few hardships then there are rewards. You see a lot of the country, meet a lot of people (some of whom you wish you hadn’t) and who can complain about sitting in an air conditioned office all day starring out the window as the scene constantly changes.

There is some of it I could do without but I enjoy it.

See you out there.

It’s not quite the New Year but Christmas is done and Santa is kicking back at the North Pole having a celebratory  beer with the Elves having completed another around the globe multi-drop run. I’m not sure what kilometre rate or load/unload rate he would be on and don’t care to work out his annual salary (if you do then check this out). Factor in Long Service Leave and he should be on a pretty good wicket (not sure what the IR laws are like at the North Pole).

Mean while, back at the ranch… I’ve completed over 1300 km’s this week in less than 2 days with a total sleep period of 86 minutes (I set my alarm for an hour and a half but woke up before it went off). If I’m taken to task I’ll deny it all but the fact remains I’ve gone from Tamworth to Sydney and up to Brisbane in 26 hours.

During this time I’ve had a flat drive tire (1 hour to change), driven through countless inches of remnant cyclonic rain, and put up with the Christmas Holiday traffic. Not to mention the inability to gain traction in the wet conditions whilst climbing the ranges on the NSW North Coast. Finding the diff lock when you are in the top box is near impossible.

Oh the traffic! Yesterday was really quiet but today has been horrendous. I must say that generally the traffic has been slow which from a safety point of view means people are getting the message about speed and danger. However; and it’s a big one; I AM IN A HURRY PEOPLE! To assist me in retaining my sanity please observe the following rules whilst partaking in your annual pilgrimage:

• If you are doing less than 100 kph use the extreme left lane (lane number 1). Slow vehicles means any vehicle slower than the others and is not based on potential speed, i.e. a Porsche doing 90kph in a 110kph zone should be in the extreme left lane. This is especially true of Learner drivers, bless you all out there trying to fulfil your log book requirements.
• If a heavy vehicle begins to overtake you (and hopefully you are in lane number 1) do not increase you speed in order to occupy the blind spot, this is just silly and tantamount to what lemmings do.
• If a heavy vehicle does indeed manage to pass you do not move to the right hand lane and overtake the heavy vehicle, this is as annoying as the same manoeuvre is when completed in square dancing lessons at High School.
• If a Heavy Vehicle is jockeying for a good position to overtake you at an upcoming overtaking lane (i.e. sitting on your tail at an increasing speed) do not jag the brakes as a demonstration. You will end up getting hurt or worse.
• and finally… should you approach a round-about with a heavy vehicle in pursuit, please don’t stop to give way to non existent vehicles. This causes great irritation to the heavy vehicle driver and intense pain to the muscles surrounding his/her rectum.
• If at any stage you are unsure as to the correctness of you driving technique, position yourself next to the passenger window of a heavy vehicle and check for a finger!

And finally on a happier note… whilst ‘floating’ off the top of a rise at the bottom of which I knew there was a ‘Candy Car’ I glanced down to see my speedometer reading upwards of 110kph, a big no-no in a speed limited vehicle. I rapidly applied all my slow down devices including a knotted handkerchief out the window and having resigned myself to a ticket was pleasantly surprised when the Officer announced over the CB, “That was close”, to which I replied “My Oath it was”, thanks mate I owe you one and I take back everything I have said about your brethren in the past (well most of it anyway).

Good night and happy holidays.

Only an hour from home on Christmas Eve.
Merry Christmas to every one and especially to the ones that are stuck out on the highway, I’ll see you all on Monday night for the run down to Sydney.

dodging drugos who wonder up the centre of the highway

I’m sick of schedulers who dont understand the rules!

I’m sick of schedulers who dont understand the rules!

Camped up at Wyong, south bound.

Duck-shove is first recorded in The Australian National Dictionary from 1870 to describe the pushy behaviour of Melbourne cab drivers. It seems to have grown out of observations of ducklings, waddling in an orderly queue behind mother duck. The idea is that there’s always one little duck that is pushy, and elbows the others aside to get what it wants. If that is correct, then it means that the original duck-shoving was actually done by ducks – from where it extended to human behaviour that involves “elbowing others”. (Thanks to ABC News Radio for this excerpt).

There don’t appear to have been any trucks rumbling around the roads back in 1870, Jackie Howe had only just invented the singlet and Ruthven Street in Toowoomba was evidently a different place to today…

Ruthven Street, Toowoomba 1870's

… Duck Shoving had obviously already become a problem.

In the transport game today Duck Shoving takes place most commonly in the line up to the wharves and grain silos around the nation and is frowned upon by all but continues to occur.

The version that I come across most often is the dill who dives in from of me at the lights to get that little bit ahead of the rest. Nine times out of 10 they are still no further ahead 30 minutes later when you get to the other side of town and upon sighting the wide open expanse of the highway they turn to water and get under foot.

Before you duck in front of a semi at the lights next time, have a look at the photo below. The driver in front of me thought he could get ahead. He’s not the white car either, the little black hatch behind him!

Duck shover

I had a similar experience later in the week also but with a guy towing a box trailer, I could still see the car but had a nasty turn when I launched on green and then remembered he was towing a trailer when he ducked in front. Had I not remembered at the last minute he would have been in danger of carrying a very heavy front axle… mine!

As Mr T would say… “Drive safe, Fool”

The last couple of weeks has seen me too busy to blog (could be a new txt abbreviation ‘TBTB’, a bit like ‘out to lunch’ I guess).

Warwick bound

The week before last was all Brisbane runs and last week was Ipswich / Warwick and then three or four to Sydney (lost count with change-overs). Each week has seen me do more than 4000 km so it’s been busy and is evident by the bugs on the windscreen in the photo above.