Diary of a Truck Driver

My hat is off to the RTA this time… jump into the truck and run down to Port Botany, sounds easy when you say it like that.

It was about 5pm when I left with around a five and a half hour drive down to the Port. I had the route all planned in my head. Down the freeway onto the Pacific Highway down through Northern Sydney, left onto the Warringah Freeway and from there the Eastern Distributor (ED) runs me straight over there; no sweat. Not until I’m trundling along the last part of the Warringah and see a sign that read something along the lines of ‘ED closed at various times for night time road works’. Great, is this a ‘various time’? Yes, but too late for an alternative route as I have concrete barriers on both sides. I take the only option and end up in Woolloomaloo, not a place to be with a truck this size. As panic gives way to a slightly more useful state I plan my escape… straight ahead is Kings Cross and I’m not getting caught up there with a double so I have to make a U-turn. Not so easy but thanks to some understanding security guards at HMAS Kuttabul I pull off a turning maneuver and head back the way I came. A quick note to would be bad people, they didn’t want to let me in and only relented once they saw the size of the truck and realised there was no option.

Now to get back across the Harbour. You can’t turn right where I wanted to as the turn is to tight so off on a lap of Hyde Park and various other parts of the city that I’m not allowed to be in and I finally make it back to the beginning of my little nightmare without being spotted by anyone authorities but I’m on the wrong side of the harbour again.

Onwards to Pennant Hills road and I’ll come in on the M5, easy fixed. No, that’s closed until 5am… I’ll have to go down through Hurstville and as I make my way out of that I find that the other end of the M5 is closed also and I have to wind my way past the airport before finally getting onto Foreshore Drive at three in the morning! I’m out of hours and out of patience but I’ve made it, lucky I had a couple of breaks on the way down.

Maybe the RTA could use the thousands of dollars worth of brand new signs hanging over the F3 with there ridiculously bright lights to let us know that the ED is closed rather than just tell us about seat belts and speed cameras, come on guys get it together you make enough rules without making no effort to be helpful.

As usual I have to deny my nightmare detour ever happened and I was never there, lucky the people at Kuttabul know about keeping things on the quiet, thanks guys.

Last week I climbed out of the old 950 Kenny and swapped it for a Cab-over Aerodyne with an extra 40 ponies driving the whole show. Just to make sure I didn’t get too carried away we whacked an extra trailer on the back. It’s B-double time!

I can’t remember being more nervous about going for a drive since I got my L plates. The ‘objects may appear closer’ mirrors were looking like a good option as the 26 metres sure looks like a long way back.

First up it was off to Sydney with the new outfit. Five hours of relatively open roads before the horror of Pennant Hills road. If you have any problems with pelvic floor muscles, driving a double down Pennant Hills road for the first time in traffic will certainly tighten everything up. All good for the first load and I loaded up again to run the coast road up to Brisbane. Once I got back to down to home I hitched up to another set of trailers and wandered down to Melbourne.

I got held over in Melbourne for 26 hours waiting for a load to haul home. Sort of a good thing as I was fairly well exhausted with the extra concentration I’d been using with the new rig. It’s taken a few days now to get used to the extra length, stopping distance and the consideration required for cornering but I’m pretty confident now.

To be honest I’d rather pull the two trailers than one. The whole thing tracks along the road a lot better and stands up well on the corners. Backing is the only challenging bit but I’m getting better at that and it’s all just practice.

At the end of last year I had to take a medical to be able to operate under the rules of ‘Basic Fatigue Management’, allowing me to drive for 14 hours a day rather than the standard 12. Sound easy but I can’t get a doctors appointment in my home town for about eight weeks.

We have a population of 58,000 people and the equivalent of 38 full time GPs (42 full and part time in total) and not one practice in town is seeing new patients. Not a real problem for me, I waited until I was in Brisbane, rang a practice and was in with the doctor within an hour.

Since the same doctors report is required for applying for my B-Double licence I thought I may as well get that sorted.

With the doctors report in hand I endured the tedious yet expected wait to be served in the local Roads and Traffic Authority (RTA). Finally my number came up only to be told that I had the wrong form. I pointed out that the form I had contained exactly the same questions as the correct form and that maybe they could just attach it to their form but alas this could not be done. Even with the effort of three highly trained public servants there was no way possible to overcome the insurmountable problem before them. I had to get it done again, on the correct form. This would mean another doctors appointment… no worries except my doctor was in Brisbane and as I have said before, getting a doctors appointment around home is like finding commonsense in a RTA office.

I got my shiny new form completed and toddled down to the RTA again. Again I waited and finally got my chance. This time the form had all the right pretty colours on it and I had passed the first hurdle. I then completed my multiple choice questions on the computer including inane questions about child restraints for infants and why should I give way to pedestrians at zebra crossings. Come on guys I think there are more pertinent questions when I am getting ready to drive a 64 tonne, 26 metre long vehicle. All was good in the end and I left, quietly this time, with my letter saying I could start training to drive a double.

It was a while before I got around to doing the training but after a couple of hours of driving around town with the examiner I was deemed competent to operate a multi-combination.

Off to the RTA again, Oh joy! I won’t mention the bit about waiting, it’s a given that I did but finally I got my go. ‘Sorry Sir, we can’t upgrade your licence, your medical is more than six months old’. For crying out loud.

I did get it all sorted in the end after going to yet another doctor, this time in Sydney (20 minute wait instead of eight weeks) and I am finally the holder of a Multi-combination licence.

Last week was a holiday, of sorts. You always end up working too hard when you stay home for the week but at least all those nagging jobs get caught up with.

So last night I climbed into a clean, serviced and polished truck (thanks guys, she looks and runs a treat) and headed for Ol’ Sydney Town.

Around about 2am as I was running along the freeway behind another truck (plenty of space between us) a taxi comes hammering along beside us in lane two. As he clears the nose of the leading truck he dives across his bow without warning, over the white hashed no-go area at the exit and shoots off toward Somersby (or somewhere, I forget which exit it was). The truck had to swerve to miss him so I called him up on the two-way and asked “are you awake yet?” to which the reply came “bloody idiot certainly caught my attention!”. Well done to the truck driver as he could have ended up with a sliding rig but kept it all together.

I made it into town and got my first drop done by about 5am and headed out past the airport… the screech of brakes made me quickly scan the mirror only to find a car trying to merge under my trailer. I swung the trailer and watched the car get bumped out of the way by my triaxle group. Hazards on and I stopped where I was to find out if the drive was okay.

“Sorry mate” he said, “I don’t know what happened”; “You tried to merge with my trailer”, I replied. “Yeah, my lane just ended and I didn’t know what to do”, he said innocently. Slow down would have been a better move but he looked like he’d just climbed out of bed. Oh well, truck undamaged, car still driveable although not looking quite so good with Michelin scribed up the crumpled door in black smudged letters and the driver didn’t appear any less useful than before. “Sorry for holding you up” he said with a wave.

And they reckon no-one is dieing to get into trucks anymore!

I just wanted to send a quick hello to the guy in the black Yaris (sorry Cath but it was a Yaris) who decided to pop out in front of me from the left hand side of my bull-bar and fill the small margin of safety I had left in front in reasonably heavy traffic and please excuse my use of the air horn and any distress it may have invoked.

I sounded the horn to let you know that what you had done was a little on the silly side of careful driving. It wasn’t meant to invoke your demonstration of how sore your middle finger is. I couldn’t care less about your sore finger and I’m guessing you hurt it when you broke the indicator stalk on your vehicle as they weren’t working at all.

What I really wanted to get across is that I don’t know you or your family but I care enough about your well-being not to have to fill out the paperwork as the fire brigade hose you legacy off the road and the hours of delay that such an incident would invoke to other more competent road users trying to get home for the weekend.

I can’t get my point across strongly enough about your sore finger either. I did look at it and I did think to myself all sorts of places to put it to make it feel better and you shouldn’t have held it out the window so long for all to see because I think that’s why you nearly ran into the back of the B-Double in front of you when he stopped suddenly.

Once again… I’m really sorry, honest!

If I had to count the number of cars I see in a day I’d run out of fingers really quickly. If I counted the number of cars I’ve passed in the last six months, having done more than 100,000 kilometres, I think my head would turn into a singularity much to Steven Hawkins’ disgust.

The ones that stand out are usually the really bad drivers but the other day, whilst I was climbing over the top of the Moonbi range I was struck my the good driving habits being displayed by two small motor homes. They were using their UHF radios to communicate and keeping at eat a truck length apart whilst maintaining a constant speed never exceeding 90 kph. They were a delight to go past, slipping past one with plenty of throttle left and ducking into the tailor made gap between them before doing it all again for the lead vehicle. Thanks guys, top job. Let’s hope this catches on with the caravan mob.

Another vehicle I passed on the same trip was a small camper van. They tried to do the right thing and god bless them for trying but they got it all wrong. As I followed them for a while, knowing there wasn’t a suitable place to pass for quite some time they took the initiative and kept hesitating on the accelerator and ducking left onto the shoulder. It wasn’t safe enough so I would go but instead kept ending up too close to them for safety. Finally the opportunity presented itself and out and about I went. They tried to do the right thing again and eased off, which was good but they ducked to the left again onto the shoulder. Sound helpful but they vanished from my mirrors meaning I had to stay out in the oncoming lane until I could get a visual on them.

Maintain you speed, don’t panic and keep doing whatever you’re doing and let us work out the tough stuff.

Unfortunately the good impression of small vehicle drivers was tarnished by the idiot that overtook me on a double lane going down the Cunning ham Gap. The view from the helipad would be awesome but you won’t see much from inside a body bag (I can guarantee that as I’ve been zipped in one before) not to mention the damage to your little green Mazda sports car.

Whilst I’m on the topic of stupid drivers, five points goes to the representative of the constabulary in the Quirind car that overtook me, after one previously aborted attempt, whilst I was up on the limiter (103 kph approx) in a 100 kph zone. He would have to have been doing at least 110 kph and we were on a newly surfaced section of road. Visibility was good but is this the example we want to display to the road users. You’ve got POLICE written all over your car and you’re doing the wrong thing. If it’s urgent, go code red, otherwise obey the rules you uphold.

Finally, a couple of tips for all the mums and dads poking around the highways and byways of our great nation during these school holidays. I understand you’re out of your comfort zone so please understand when I curse at you…

Step 1: On the side of the road you will see a sign with a number inside a red ring. The number always ends in zero to keep it simple. Remember this number.

Step 2: Now look at you speedo and locate this number or a lower one.

Step 3: Use the accelerator (on the far right) and the brake (middle in a manual, left in an auto) to make the orange stick thingy line up with the number. Please use the pedals one at a time!

Step 4: Maintain the orange stick thingy in the chosen position even if a truck comes along side and you feel compelled to use accelerator only.

Follow these few simple steps and you’ll have a great day.

Safe driving and remember to keep it shiny side up.

Yesterday was a bit of a rest day. A rest from driving a least although I worked my back side off catching up with jobs at home. I finally fell into bed after another 24 hours awake and slept from 8pm until 3am when the alarm signalled the start of another run to Sydney.

My first two drops for the day were marred by an inaccurate load plan and a poorly loaded trailer. I struggled to find the location of the correct pallets for each delivery but finally got it all sorted although my load was now filled with empty pallet spaces which makes for a nasty load if you have to break suddenly. I hope this wouldn’t be an issue…

As I ran down a slight hill toward the tunnel that runs under the Sydney Airport runway, I took my right foot off the accelerator and allowed the truck to coast on the jakes. As I approached the slowing vehicle in front I attempted to apply the brake only to find my foot was firmly attached to the base of my seat. In a quick moment of panic and unable to kick my right foot free I used my left foot to apply the break (having had to visibly locate the brake pedal for my left foot!), the old left foot is a bit of a bafoon and a real ham fist when it comes to braking and the truck hesitated abruptly. I managed to slip my shoe of and regain normal operation of the controls. Upon further examination I found that a spring from the underside of my seat had hooked itself in the little pull tab on the back of my boot thus securing it firmly to the seat base. I’ve now cut the loops on both of my boots so it can’t happen again.

Then at my last drop off as I approached the address on the paperwork I didn’t like the look of the entry so I pulled up and went for a walk to check it out. The owner assured me that all was good and semi-trailers come in and out all the time without a problem. I wasn’t overly confident but chose to go in having seen that I could indeed get myself out when required.

The driveway was a steep drop with a right hand turn as soon as you are through the gate. I knew I ran the risk of the trailer hitting against the cab at the top and that the guards over the drive tyres could scrub on the trailer so I eased her in very slowly. Bugger!… one of the guards managed to hook up on the I-beam under the trailer and bent itself beyond use. I had to borrow a crowbar and a forklift to straighten everything out enough to stop the guard from scrubbing on the tyre. Oh well that guard was almost two weeks old now.

This is the yard in question and I’ve overlayed a truck to give an idea of the scale.

Last night I was plodding up the New England Highway, heading to Brisbane when the call came over the two-way that there had been a fatal accident.

I turned on the scanner to see what I could find out. Three dead but the truck driver was okay and it was only ten minutes behind me.

It’s rather chilling to think that a car full of people just went past, I probably had to flash them to dim their lights and now they are all dead. I don’t know why the accident occurred but it was a head-on and wasn’t pretty from all accounts.

For god sakes, pay attention out there.

Early this week I was contacted by the National Library to see if I was happy for ‘Diary of a Truck Driver’ to be included in their archives. Initially I thought it was a spam but it turned out to be legitimate.

So now the blog is to be archived for ever in the National Library‘s Pandora project.

I must say I’m rather flattered that my inane rambling could deserve preservation for the National Interest. Obviously my scripts are considerd to be ‘of significance and to have long-term research value’. When I started ‘Diary of a Truck Driver’ it wasn’t for fame or credit just as a vent. I’m surprised every time someone subscribes, be they potential drivers or ABC correspondent but for the National Library to contact me… well.

One thing that this incident did highlight was that there was no reference to an email address to contact me so now I’ve added a contact form to the blog.

For those of you that don’t know about CB radios and the like, just about every truck on the road is using one. Gone are the days of the “ten four good buddy” lingo of the 70′s and 80′s and the sets are now just about all UHF which gives a much clearer sound than the old AM sets.

Generally we all sit on channel 40 except when running the Pacific Highway (channel 29) and the Hume Highway (channel 15). It’s not all idle chit chat and any one having a long conversation will normally change down a couple of channels to leave the air clear for others or get told to do so.

Apart from the standard ‘road reports’ where announcments about police activities are relayed, the two-way radio is a great tool for passing slower moving vehicles with trucks further up the road calling back to say when the road is clear. So if you get overtaken when you think visibility is not good enough we are probably using someone else’s eyes to see a lot further than you think.

If you’re listening in on the 2-way, ignore the usual idiots around town who generate some perverse form of entertainment antagonising the passing truckers, and take time to figure out the terms used to advise of upcoming ‘hazards’. Phrases like ‘Candy Car’, and ‘double one’ refer to the Highway Patrol vehicles, whilst ‘Company Car’ is a general duties vehicle. ‘Barbie is cold’ means the weigh bridge is shut and the are various location references like ‘Sleepy Hill’ (Tuggerah exit on F3) and ‘Money Tree’ (there are a few of these) which can take a while to figure out. Other than that it can be quite interesting to listen to.

Whilst I’m on the subject of visibility; it surprises me how many vehicles hang around a truck in the blind spots either back near the trailer wheels or next to the passenger door. Both these places are potential death zones if the truck driver has lost track of the vehicles moving around him (or her). I often find myself wondering where a particular car has gone only to find them checking out the wheel nuts on the left hand side.

The other stupid thing drivers often do is go slow (below the posted speed) forcing me out into lane 2 or 3 and just as they see the bull-bar come along side their window they shoot off into the distance. I can only assume that until I drew along side them they were oblivious to my presence. Use your mirrors and your common sense and you may be around for a lot longer.